Gazillion Diets Madness

by shawne on March 30, 2014

in Lifestyle


Long ago (5 years ago) and far away (okay, not so far) I wrote a little bitty blog for my friends and fam called Smorrr Fabulous and Fit.  The concept was simple.  I had seen a morning TV talk show about ways people held themselves accountable on their weight loss journey.  At this time I was still deep in the trenches of chronic dieting.  The idea that I borrowed was that I solicit my peeps to prize me some non-food rewards for my pounds of weight loss.  Each person signed up for a number and reward.  So, for example, once I achieved a weight loss of 8 pounds, a friend who chose 8, rewarded me with a girls’ night out at a pottery class.  Stuff like that.

Although, I was further away from resolving my weighty issues than I thought and I was certainly no where near becoming a Certified Health Coach, I knew that I needed some form of extrinsic accountability.  I needed the support of my loved ones.  I needed to be cheered on.  Most of all, I needed a platform on which to vent about my emotional eating and my weighty woes.  I did not have a crystal ball that could show me that five years later, I would be the one supporting and cheering on others.  Life is so funny that way.  It wasn’t until I started to post about my journey that I was able to start connecting the dots about the madness surrounding my life as a yo-yo dieter.  The takeaway was that diets simply didn’t work and I needed to figure out a long term solution to what became a long term problem.

I had forgotten about my former blogging adventure until very recently.  As I continue to learn and grow and share my knowledge and experience, I feel like it is important to remember where I was and how I got to where I am.  I am no longer stuck in my story though and am thrilled that I finally got off the hamster wheel.  Sometimes when things are challenging we tend to go back into our old cycles and seek comfort in familiar patterns-even if they don’t work.   I’m happy to reveal that I ain’t going back.

I’d like to share my blog post from January, 2009 to give you a snapshot of where I was.  I believe that this was the first time I came to the realization that Diets Don’t Work!

So without further adieu, here’s my creatively titled post called “Diet History”:

Do Diets Work? Thought I’d share my history in close to accurate chronological order starting in 1984 (25 years ago)! In 1984, I had my most successful weight loss of 22 pounds during the summer between seventh and eighth grades. I remember my first day of school outfit: an acid washed, two toned designer denim disaster in a size 3/4. I probably wore the same outfit to go see Purple Rain with my BFFs, at the time. I remained a size 3/4 until the second week of that same school year.

If I repeat something that simply means I tried it more than once. This does not include countless diet plans that filled the pages of health magazines, rag magazines, and newspapers:

Ideal Weight, Weight Watchers, Scarsdale Diet, Grapefruit Diet, Marajuana Diet (thought fewer calories than beer but didn’t account for the munchies), Weight Watchers, SlimFast, Cabbage Soup Diet, Atkins, Hollywood Diet (chased by bees while drinking this nectar-like substance), Jenny Craig, Metabolife, Metabolift (resulted in embarrassing ER visit), Cabbage Soup Diet, Atkins, Weight Watchers, other people’s Nutritionist’s diets, Shani’s “Eat only When Hungry” diet, Health Store brand liquid diet, Scarsdale Diet, Atkins Diet, South Beach Diet, cutting out dairy on my own diet, Health Store Detoxification Diet, NutriSystem (swelled to a balloon from excessive amounts of sodium), Curves Diet Plan, Special K challenge, Cabbage Soup Diet (the final time- B refused to flush the entire vat of soup down the toilet for me EVER AGAIN),Weight Watchers, Jared’s Subway diet (lasted five days), my own Nutritionist’s Diet Plan, Zone Diet, colon cleansing diet, “I’m gonna be a vegetarian for three days diet”, Acupuncturist’s Diet Plan (another abandonment of dairy), Bikini Fit Detoxification and Diet Plan, South Beach Diet, Flat Belly Diet, DineWise home food delivery diet, diet plan, “I’m not gonna diet and just shut my mouth diet”…….and counting.

This week I lost .2 lbs. I hope to claim an eight pound reward soon.

I am thankful to be out of diet jail, finally!  There is a lot of power in writing down your story and sharing it.  It’s hard to put yourself out there but its so beneficial to have that reality check.  Knowing what you’re dealing with is truly the first step in the process of making a healthy change.  Thanks for reading.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Leslie Hanft April 2, 2014 at 2:41 pm

Thanks for sharing your story Shawne. So many people struggle with yo-yo dieting and I am sure they would benefit tremendously from having the support of a health coach who has been there and conquered it. Lots of luck with your practice.


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